Lamp Post

Sometimes, you have got to dream. Sometimes there is no choice. You get submerged into this fictional world where everything seems otherwordly and things are just how you have imagined first... But you don't always get what you see. Yet it doesn't mean that you shouldn't dream, feel a drop of joy while imagining things that never have happened. Or maybe there is a beauty in being dark and gloomy.

I have started writing poetry almost a year ago. It mostly emerged from the music I have listened and the contemporary literature I have read. I have become obsessed with the poetry of Lana Del Rey, Patti Smith, Walt Whitman, and Allen Ginsberg. And I thought, how amazing it is to transform your thoughts or feelings into words. Here is a piece I have written lately:

Lamp Post

Sorry but my soul ain't smiling,

Concealed by fake happy eyelids.

So don't expect me to stay,

I'm better off alone, anyway...

So I'm gonna wander the street,

When it's dark and bittersweet.

Cause I'm dreamy and distorted,

Need some time to be sorted.

But I have this mindset disorder,

Don't want to wake up lonely and older.

"Time can heal" but I'am not convinced,

What will I lose if I'm dismissed.

But I'll miss you strolling,

To the bus station, while I'm waiting.

Under the warm distressed lamp post,

When the city is cold and full of ghosts.

And I'll miss those winter nights,

When we would get drunk and high.

Laughing at the top of our lungs,

And your embrace would keep us young.

But now the traffic's blocked,

And all those times are stopped.

Cause I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel,

I don't see why my hands do shiver..

..So I'll jump to the moat not shallow,

And I hope you stay there and not follow.

But I'll miss you strolling,

To the bridge while I'm hoping.

I'm under the big black cloud,

My clothes are dry, yet my mind's loud...

Sorry but my soul ain't smiling,

Concealed by fake happy eyelids.

So don't expect me to stay,

I'm better off alone, anyway...

Cause there's no fucking lamp post,

And your laugh, I missed it the most.

Those nights were fantasized,

We didn't stare at each others' eyes.

We weren't embracing our souls,

And mine is empty, I'm now a ghost.

And I'll watch you live and wander,

I want you to remember.