Lake America

Well, that’s it. No need for commentary.

Trump has dreamed up something new again.

There is now no longer Lake Ontario —

Maps will have to be redrawn again.

Canada displeased him once more lately.

Trump decided Canada must pay.

Geography can serve for vengeance greatly:

Change the lake’s old name — and there’s your way.

So that, reaching Canada’s own shoreline,

Trump’s great wrath would instantly be known,

“America” — a name he finds suitably fine —

Now is what Lake Ontario is called.

Canadians will surely find this dreadful.

Horror will descend on them en masse,

While we’ll all set off, delighted, gleeful,

Fixing every map in every global atlas.

Our war with Canada is about trading,

Trump knows well the art of how to win.

Donald’s found a novel way of raiding —

Better than bombing can even begin.

What a truly marvelous new tactic!

Where else could we put this plan to use?

Could we perhaps make it automatic

And defeat Iran by renaming, no abuse?

So that everyone, beyond all doubting,

Knows Iran by Donald has been slain,

Tehran, without delay or further counting,

We’ll rename at once as Ameran.

Why ask Denmark to surrender Greenland,

Begging them to make the island ours?

We’ll just call the place Ameriland —

Problem solved, without wasting hours.

Cuba, too, we’ll conquer without weapons.

Let its people celebrate the day.

Ameruba sounds a little awkward,

But for a greater cause, it’ll be okay.

I confess, I rather like this tactic.

Off we go to fix all maps anew.

Think of all the jobs that this will add, too —

There’s your economic boom! Woo-hoo!

And when Donald’s time at last is over,
All his names will vanish at a pencil's stroke.
Maps will change themselves again by morning —
Back to original. Like it was a silly joke.