Dear Bella,
Do you kow how long it's been?
I do.
But I also don't.
Time passes differently now that you're gone.
I can feel it speeding up and passing me by,
but it also seems to inch along as though I'm waiting for something.
Which I am.
I'm waiting for you to come back.
I'm waiting for your abscence to feel normal.
I'm waiting to stop missing you,
because it hurts.
It's nearly been 3 months...
It feels both like a lifetime ago,
and quicker than the blank of an eye,
since the last time I held you.
I feel like you've always been with us,
but also like I never knew you,
all in one breath.
I wonder if time passes differently for you.
I wonder if you were to come back today,
would you still remember us?
Because we remember you and we will never be the same.
It's not fair.
Such a childish thing to say.
Life isn't fair.
It's not fair because you made us love you.
You chose us and loved us back.
I know you are in a better place and feel much better,
but selfishly all I want is to have you back.
Selfishly,
I sometimes wish I didn't have the chance to love you.
Because missing you hurts too much.
Breathing without you hurts too much.
Life without you hurts too much.
Would it hurt less if I didn't have the chance to love you?
Or would I have been miserable having never known you?
We will never know.
All I do know is that your abscence is noticed.
Your abscence is felt,
by all that visit our home.
Your abscene has forever changed us,
and we will never be the same.
We love and miss you everyday.
Thank you for being a part of our lives. 💜
Love,
Momma and Boba
About the Creator
Donna Fox (HKB)
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To Speak of Secret Futures
Our coffees cool between us on the breakfast counter. You stare at the curls of steam so you don't have to look at me. That's always been your tell. Usually your gaze speaks volumes, so when you refuse to meet my eye, that means you have a secret you don't want to say.
By Addison Alder4 days ago in Humans
Comments (12)
very poignant. So relatable. You make me feel your loss so strongly. Well written!
Donna, this hits home in so many ways. You have a way of inviting the reader into a very sad and soulful time in your life. Ther are never enough words to express a loss. Especially from one who gave it back with out expecting anything in return.
It's a very heartfelt piece, Donna! Sorry for your loss! But I believe that Bella is enjoying some great time in Dogs' Paradise right now! You very well said about selfishness! So often we know that we should let go but just can't do it so easily.
Always better to have known them. Always. Never doubt it ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss, Donna 🥺❤️ This was so heart-wrenching. Life indeed is unfair. Though this poem was so sad, it was very beautifully written.
Oh my, that's so heartbreaking! I'm hoping this is entirely fictional, but I'm also sensing that it's more autobiographical, it's just so realistic and raw!! If it's close to home for you I'm so, so sorry Donna...
This is so sad and relatable! I think the use of questions drove home how confusing and disorientating grief can feel. beautiful work, Donna!
This poem is beautiful. I felt so many waves of emotion as I read, Donna. Well done - very well done!
This was beautiful Donna. I loved the contrasting lines in this like I feel like you’ve always been with us but also like I never knew you.
Bella says hello, I spoke to her in my dreams. I saw her romping happily by a gurgling brook, butterflies flitted happily with her in the sunlight. Tell Momma and Boba that I am happy. Lovely, sad and hopeful poem.
Wow Donna, I just said I hoped to see new work from you soon… not being fully caught up on things posted today. It is good to see you back. This is a powerful meditation on grief. My favorite lines: “Would it hurt less if I didn't have the chance to love you? Or would I have been miserable having never known you?”
Nice ❤️😉✨