Is It Both?

I can’t remember

Whether I decided that I loved you

In one moment

Or in the years and years that I have known you

I kind of think that it was both

I don’t know if the reason was

That little smile that you give me when you say something ridiculous

Or that drowning feeling that I get from your deep eyes

When you say something life-changing

I have a feeling that it is both

I can’t tell what I like the most when I am with you

Is it the pain that I feel when I realize you are a whole human being

And not part of me

Or the euphoria that I get when I remember that you said you’d like to be mine

Can it really be both?