Is Farting in Church a Sin?

After service this morning we lingered, we three:

The Reverend Golightly, my dear wife, and me.

The sun streamed in as we stood by the door,

The stained glass tinting the old wooden floor.

I relaxed for a second, and then with a sigh

My breakfast beans blew quietly by.

•

I thought I’d escaped, and I would have had if

It hadn’t been quite so much of a whiff.

My wife ceased her chatting, sniffed, and said, “Pooh!”

Then gazed at me sternly, “Was that awful smell you?”

She gave me a Look, and my heart gave a lurch;

What, admit before God that I’d farted in church?

•

“Of course not, my dear,” I said without thinking,

Standing my ground as they both stood there blinking.

A moment of hush, and the reverend mused,

“Oh! It must have been me then. Please do excuse!”