Intrusive Daydreams

Sometimes they seem innocent enough,

A single thought will cross my mind

And make me wonder of all the things that could possibly unfold.

I’ll be making my way to work.

Driving the same roads,

Passing the same cars,

At the same time,

Every single day.

I stop at the red light and watch the same cars pull up beside me.

The red Swift on the left,

A black Peugeot on the right.

Every morning the red swift is the first one to take off,

Sometimes even before the light has turned green

and the cars approaching the intersection are rolling to a stop.

A pedestrian,

a woman with dark brown hair,

a woollen jumper and a long caramel skirt,

waits for the lights to change.

She walks with her face down and headphones in,

lost in her own thoughts.

Every morning I think,

What would happen if a car didn’t stop?

The red car is always quick off the mark

So, it’s likely they won’t get hit.

But the woman walking to work?

She would never see it coming.

I imagine a car barrelling through the red light, hitting this woman at full speed.

I imagine the driver slamming on the breaks at the impact.

I imagine the squeal of the tires as the vehicle careens towards the side of my car.

I imagine the wide eyes of the woman as she is pinned to my passenger door.

I imagine the sound of crunching metal as our cars connect and meld together with the impact of the crash.

So vividly, I can see this woman’s tears as they stream down her face,

I can see her features contort in pain and panic as she realises that she can’t move.

I can see the moment that she loses hope that she will make it out of this alive.

I can feel myself I unclip my belt and clamber over the hand break towards her,

I can feel my despair as the shattered window fails to roll down.

I can feel the warmth of her skin through the spiderweb of glass as I place my palm above hers and we lock eyes.

I know what she is thinking.

I’m not going to make it.

Tell my family I love them.

Please don’t leave me alone.

In that moment I hope she can see I’m there with her.

I watch her,

Helpless.

Unable to do anything other than watch the light fade from her eyes.

As she drifts away to a better place, the world around me melts.

And there I am,

Still making my way to work.

Driving the same roads,

Passing the same cars,

At the same time

As every other day I drive down that road.