Insomnia

Has it been minutes, seconds, or hours?

Time fades away

If I check now, this focus will become sour

Concentrate.

No, not that place.

When I thought it was fate

Few seconds too late.

Another memory.

It fades away but highlights the negative history.

Was I good enough?

Did I try my best?

Don't start now.

Forget it.

I regret opening my eyes, but I do.

Am I asleep or aware?

I feel light.

My ceiling twists, feeling high as I glare.

It yells at me, I feel objectified.

Like I am one with the room.

I rub my eyes.

Patterns in my mind that I cannot draw nor describe.

The lights outside, is it near morning?

Here I lie, feeling as if I'm mourning.

What could have been?

I shift.

I hope that soon I'll drift

away from these thoughts, I wish I could escape.

I feel lost at sea

I feel as if this isn't even me

Am I real?

Is life but a dream?

I wish I could sleep.

It feels numb.

like I was never who I was

I am alone with this darkness,

and soon it will consume me.