In Your Dreams . . . or Not

My favorite childhood movie was Peter Pan.

I wanted to fly. Still do.

But I can't.

Not even in my dreams.

If I dream at all. Which doesn't happen often.

But when I do,

And when I'm flying,

It never works quite right.

Once I was riding on one of those pit droids from The Phantom Menace,

The ones that fold up when you hit their noses.

It was in collapsed form but flying,

And I was sitting on it.

But it wouldn't stay airborne.

Kept sinking even as it moved forward across a red-desert landscape.

I kept having to wave my arms and yell to get that dumb droid to stay up.

Another time, I had long, feathery wings growing out of my arms,

Like a vulture. Or a condor.

But when I tried to flap them and fly up to a balcony,

I couldn't fly straight.

I careened to the left and missed the railing. Almost ran into a pillar.

It never works.

They say

When you fly in your dreams,

It means you're feeling free.

Liberated.

Nothing is holding you back.

Not sure what my flying dreams

Say about me.