In The Flames

Remembering the fire I so firmly

Steadily

Determinedly

(Hopelessly)

Snuffed out

I was not prepared to feel warmed anew.

Before,

the flame burnt cold.

Icy Blue.

I was always aware of

Holding

My

Breath

Afraid a word from me would blow it out.

I bound my will to serving the fire,

Coaxing

Pleading

Promising

(Dying)

Glad of the fickle warmth I grudgingly received.

Until the demand of the flames grew

Harsh

Demanding

Hurting

Charring

I had no fuel left

To feed it, and still live.

Now I alone, but somehow warmer,

Finally

Freely

Deeply

Breathing

Counting it a trade well done

I chose life not fickle light.

Pretending I’d not miss the sun.

Striding fast

No looking back

(Fleeing)

I stopped feeding the fire my life.

Resigned to the cold.

Wrapping tight against the chill

Defiant

Proud

(Denying)

Afraid to say I missed the demands of the flames.

Because even bondage is belonging.

How could it be I did not know

Within myself

Flickering

Steady

(Waiting)

I had a spark of my own.

Waiting for darkness enough to be seen.

Until I felt it leap to life,

Trembling

Wavering

Cautiously reaching

Is now the time?

Is this a safe place to grow and feel the warmth inside me find its way?

With wondering spirit I ask and answer

See the light?

Glow?

Chasing chill

Fear and emptiness

I reach in wonder towards the flames

I touch them and find I am not burned.