in my mind

Sometimes I don’t think.

It’s like throw up coming out of my mouth.

Sometimes I want to sink.

But then I’m scratching to come out.

I hate this fight I have going on in my mind.

You want to love me but I think that you must be blind.

I look at you now and I see you no longer see me.

The laughing red girl that fell in love without humility.

She’s there, right behind that door.

Trying to see that you might not want to push her to the floor.

She smiles at you praying you’ll smile back.

For its only confidence and control of her emotions she lacks.

Can you handle this ride?

I want to hold onto you so tight.

Or will you run away?

I’m not sure. I don’t think I can fight.

Look me in the eyes.

Cover me.

Tell me you won’t leave.

I can’t take anymore lies.

Will you see?

I’m so much more than I believe.