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in her shadow

confession from someone invisible

By Brin J.Published about a month ago 1 min read
Top Story - April 2024
46
*Unsplash* joshua-rawson-harris

eyes always went to her first

caught by her powerful feminine charms

looking through me like I didn't exist

it stung, but I never felt envy

proud to call her my sister

standing in her shadow wasn't all that bad

... except for the times it was lonely

*

*

***Disclaimer*** Since Vocal wants transparency in regards to the use of AI-assistant tools, here are the two in my Google extensions: ProWritingAid & QuillBot. Neither wrote my poem for me.

sad poetryFamilyAcrostic
46

About the Creator

Brin J.

I have a few stories and poems inside me that I want to share. Maybe, if I'm lucky, they'll reach people who'll enjoy them. 📖

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insight

  1. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (30)

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  • Pauline Fountain15 days ago

    Hi there Brin Firstly, thank you for reading my short story for the ‘Just one moment’ Challenge - ‘Paused: At Coolun Beach.’ I have Subscribed because I know by your ‘In eclipse’ Challenge that I will indeed enjoy your work and am looking forward to reading more. This is such a well crafted (eg the lack of title case) and poignant poem. Pauline 🌸

  • Charlie williams26 days ago

    This is really nice

  • Hannah Moore26 days ago

    I have no idea what these tools are, but the poem is excellent.

  • Back to say congratulations

  • Andrea Corwin 28 days ago

    Sad poetry💔 - Congrats on TS!

  • Anna 28 days ago

    so sad and painful... yet positive at the end... congrats on TS!

  • Heather Hubler28 days ago

    So happy this received TS!!! Congrats, Brin :)

  • K. Kocheryan28 days ago

    Congrats on Top Story!

  • Kiersten Weldon28 days ago

    This is such a great interpretation of the prompt. I really connected with the heartache of being lost in a sibling's shadow but still loving them.

  • Margaret Brennan28 days ago

    fantastic. My sister was too much younger than I was for me to get lost in her shadow ... however .... my brother was two years older and people gravitated to him often leaving me in shadows. I usually felt so lost but even now, I feel even more lost because I don't have my brother to speak with. I miss him more than I miss being in his shadow.

  • Natasha Collazo28 days ago

    Me putting the pen down after reading this, this is a winner. Great job!

  • Dordle Luka28 days ago

    Your essay is extremely beneficial, and the substance is excellent. I have read many articles, but yours left a lasting impression on me; thank you for sharing. https://run3ds.com

  • Paul Stewart28 days ago

    Ah Brin, I read this before...but for some reason didn't interact. I am bad, that is why....lol. Anyway, what I love about this most is that it is sad, yes, because obviously you'd want some of the attention at least some of the time, as we all do/would...but you don't resent your sister for it. You hold her in high regard...so it's got this real sadness to it, but it's not spiteful either...which makes it quite remarkable really. so deftly written! congrats on it getting Top Story!

  • Lamar Wiggins29 days ago

    Love the subtitle. It sets the stage for the feelings evoked. Congrats, Brin!

  • 👌❤️💕👏

  • D. D. Lee29 days ago

    Congratulations on Top Story.

  • Christy Munson29 days ago

    Congratulations on Top Story. Your choice of 1st person gives this piece intensity. Love it.

  • D.K. Shepard29 days ago

    So raw and riveting! Great acrostic, Brin! And congrats on Top Story!

  • angela hepworth29 days ago

    Congratulations on top story!! Loved it!

  • Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊

  • Donna Fox (HKB)29 days ago

    This was heartbreaking and so so beautifully written!! Great work Brin and congrats on Top Story!! Also, I didn't know Vocal was wanting us to tag everything we use for our work... 😬😅 I better get back tracking since I've been using prewriting a lot, thanks to you for the suggestion!!

  • Cathy holmes29 days ago

    Congrats on the TS.

  • Cathy holmesabout a month ago

    I love this so much, and it's got me thinking about a quandary I've never experienced - loving someone but feeling overlooked because of their existence. I have 2 bros but no sister, so I've never felt this. I'm thinking now of my cousins I grew up with. There were 4 girl and I didn't understand why they sometimes didn't want to hang out together. Hmmm. Sorry for the rant. Did I mention I love your poem?

  • Stephen Kramer Avitabileabout a month ago

    I liked this unique take on a very relatable situation. Not focusing solely on the bad, but not shying away from it either. And the description of lonely making one feel invisible, excellent work!

  • Esala Gunathilakeabout a month ago

    Enjoyed your work but sad.

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