In case You Didn't Know

Hey Mom,

I haven't told you this, but that big and bold personality I've developed these past few years was inspired by you.

When I was younger, you were my whole universe, the one who created me, and not even Mother Nature could exist if you did. I watched you through tiny eyes that couldn't begin to understand how big the world is - I just knew that you were my world.

Now I'm an adult, and the world doesn't seem significant anymore, but my fears, anxiety, and day-to-day life do. This place we live in has a way of being distracting and creating obstacles to hide our paths from us.

And when I feel like it's all caving in and everything is going to end as it does in the movies - except there won't be survivors with my luck - I think about you and how you looked so radiant in those little eyes of mine.

With your long, curly red hair and those blue eyes. The way you wore your dresses knowing you were the prettiest woman on earth, and I wanted to be like you. I only hoped that when I became a woman, I would be like you.

I've heard a woman's love is like a rose, but you, not just a woman - a mother, have a passion that would send every rose in flames like wildfire - because you are the wildfire.

Leaving nothing but ashes to rain down on me like delicate flakes of snow from that cold day in Rapid City - on the balcony of our new house - when you told me every snowflake is unique, just like me.

But your love isn't cold like the snow that blankets the earth. It's warm, sometimes even hot, like when I watch you in a crowd of people - you consume the entire audience, and we could either roast marshmallows or burn to death from your glow.

You glow like an anglerfish in darkness or like plutonium when it collides with air for the first time.

And just like one can pick out the North Star in the night sky, I can pick you out in a sea of people just by the sound of your laugh that everyone knows belongs to you.

It's whimsical and genuine, and people always want to laugh at whatever you find funny. I just want to dance because your laughter is my favorite song and reminds me of the story you told me about how I always tickled your ribs when I was still in the womb and you would laugh for hours.

So it shouldn't come as a surprise that maybe it was my favorite song before I was ever born - like maybe I was meant to be yours and you were meant to be mine. The perfect mother-daughter masterpiece that no artist throughout time and space could recreate.

The light that leads me to you warms me like a summer day when you always made sure that I had sunscreen on and water to drink - so that I'd never forget you were my mom and would always keep me safe.

You walk into a room, and everyone turns their heads. You speak, and there isn't a soul not listening - and it reminds me of when the world wanted to control your fire, but you said, "Let it burn."

Now I hope that no matter where life takes me, I will let it burn, too.

I hope that when I walk into a room, people will see love that consumes, and when I speak, it will be with passion that ignites their souls like your love inspired mine.

There are so many things in this world that are uncertain and scary, but there's one thing I'm sure of beyond a reasonable doubt: I want to be like you.

I want to be a warm, radiant fire that is exciting and unpredictable. I want to slowly crackle like a bonfire or erupt like a volcano depending on where the wind blows.

And when someone tries to control it or put it out, I will say, "Let it Burn."

Love,

Your Daughter

P.S. In case I haven't told you lately, I love you.