In Bed

Once I would lie in bed and think of you, and I couldn’t sleep. 

Late to bed and early to rise, thoughts of you fueled me, and I felt so alive. 

You weren’t even mine then, but if my imagining could have made it so, you would have been. 

Then, I would lie awake next to you, watching you dream. 

My imaginings and yours were in agreement. 

A beautiful love came to be. 

Now, I lie in bed and think of you, and I can’t sleep. 

You are peacefully dreaming next to me, and I turn away. 

I cry as quietly as I can so I don’t wake you. 

I don’t worry for your rest. 

I am simply exhausted from trying to explain to you how you have hurt me. 

So I don’t let you see me cry. 

I am a shadow of who I used to be. 

I don’t know how to tell you to go. 

That now I dream of being in bed alone.