If only

When I sleep, it seems real,

and I can forget all about the ordeal,

of being stuck on four wheels.

I am not walking per se; it is a more potent sentiment.

I am flying upward, rising above my predicament.

The momentum is reversed, no longer crushed by my deficiencies

it allows me to rise above the difficulties.

The moment I wake up,

I can no longer reach the top.

I swirl down into the sad reality

and swim back into my incalculable incapacities.

My eyes open, my body nailed to the bed,

with no movement; I can only turn my head.

I need help with everything.

It makes life so frustrating.

If only I could walk again, if only.

It never misses; I reminisced about what led me here.

I took one too many beers.

thought it was Okay to drive and had to hit a deer;

woke up in a whirlpool of panic and fear.

The doctor told me in one sentence

it changed my whole existence;

I am paralyzed from head to toe.

If only I could walk again. I am my own foe!