Idiosyncrasies

I aimed for his cheek,

But missed, instead kissed his lips

Earth, swallow me please!

When challenged to delve deep into those experiences we usually do our best to forget, no experience was quite so awkward as the one that inspired this piece.

I have always been a little socially awkward and nervous around new people. When I was in my twenties, a friend introduced me to her husband for the first time. My friend was a hugger and tended to kiss friends on the cheek in greeting. When I met her husband, he held out his hand to shake hands and leaned in. I took the body language as a cue that he, like my friend, kissed people on the cheek in greeting. Steeling myself for an action I myself was not accustomed to (I am not a touchy-feely type), I leaned in to kiss his cheek.

Just as he turned his head. And my kiss landed square on his lips. Right in front of his wife.

Looking back, I think maybe, just maybe, I read the cues wrong and her husband did not share her quirks.

That was the most awkward dinner I have ever attended. And I've been to dinner with a couple where a guy proposed to his girlfriend in front of everyone. She said no!