I wish to exist

I wish to exist between now and then,

Outside of time,

When it's neither today nor tomorrow,

Where my heart beats in straight lines.

I wish to be suspended between life and death,

Mingling but uncommitted,

To be the silent veil and crimson divide,

Where my presence or absence is but an illusion.

I wish to be swallowed by space but not part of it,

Known but unmet,

To breathe in vacuum,

To rest peacefully in the arms of fire and flame.

See, life feels like a static race,

Victory is but a second lap—

And if lucky, another more.

I've tired my limbs and rusted my soul,

Defeated by my existence, this nurtured infection rules me whole.

This body I thought was my home became my confinement.

My tongue filters my thoughts,

My hands clap for stolen speeches,

My legs follow the path of false prophets,

See, I do not wish to leave this earth, but to live requires it,

And I have chosen to live.