I wish

I wish you saw yourself how I saw you.

I wish you knew how much I longed for you.

The daddy lessons and small daily trips. Sitting in your lap as you held me in your arms, listening to you rap your favorite 50 song.

Times changed now that I can see your point of view peeking over my shoulder. I held on to my anger it was heavy like a boulder.

Things aren't always what they seem, but I was too young to understand being a parent isn't easy, you still tried and that would always relieve me. Battling addiction and disease but somehow you still managed to see me.

Eating lunch at Mama Mias and giving your grandkids junk.. Telling me to come by at the begining of the month "I got something for you" is what you would say. I wish I could hear that one more time today.

I just wish we had more time so I could get to know more of you. I wish we had more happy memories and even more fights! Laughing with you when you caught me sneaking in at night.

I wish I could've taken care of you I'm so mad at you for not putting up more of a fight. When I asked you said no and now I know why, you saw the light and you were ready to fly. But I know you loved me and you saw my light. I just wish we could've had one more night.