I Used To Want

I used to want to foretell the future

I didn’t know that to deny the future its ability to unfold naturally

To try to squeeze the world into my concept of reality

Was to disempower myself and all around me

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I used to want to linger in my lover's arms

To climb his body and feel the surge of his passion

To exhale my desire into the air around us and feel it reverberate with his response

I didn’t know there was no real lover and that he had no response to make

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I used to want my plans and dreams to overlap with those of another

And I would implore my love to let our hearts intertwine and grow into a vine that would hold us together forever

I didn’t know that presence was lacking and movement was all he wanted