I To Find Me

the first colour that was mine was

Red

before Red, i just went along

with other people’s pallets

Green, Blue, Pink

in time i graduated to

Magenta

and then to the joys

and exuberance of Oranges

eating through the shades Carrot, Apricot, and Tangerine

i found myself in the Blues

from Lapis’ rich history, to the wetness of the

Aegean, Azure skies, mineral Turquoise

transfixed by Yves Klein’s punch

i took a turn into shades, displacing colour

with smears of Grey, the spectra of Blacks,

from Charcoal's mess to the promises of

Obsidian

and finding a clean, empty, deprived

solace in the purest White

i got stuck in the obsession of striving beyond

taints, tinges, the very lived realities of a messy,

pained, painted, joyous existence, to seek only

that unattainable

untarnished

crystalline, clear cut and impossible

non-colour

my slow return involved journeying through

Creams, Navys, and burnished Copper before taking a

risk and finding myself at

the highs of Ochre and depths of Sienna

in Umber’s earth that births Amaranth’s bloom

the well of Kaitoke and the nuance of Aubergine

Sometimes I show myself bold, thick and fast,

Embracing texture, before I need a washout

Hinting at just a flavour of how I feel

And who I am and what I want

I reserve the right to change my mind,

As you reserve the right to peacock and chameleon

Your way through life, twisting the kaleidoscope to

fracture the spectrum at each step

To find you

And I To Find Me.