I Only Loved the Thought of You

It’s been a while since we spoke, perhaps a couple of weeks? The time has truly passed, and things have indeed changed. But those fucked up memories they will forever stay, they are engraved in my head, I place my roses where I lay.

You told me I had problems, I felt not good enough, until that one day broke me, and our relationship fell out of lust. You hurt me, broke me, killed me inside, but the funny part of all is the fact that you fucking lied. “No I wouldn't do her ever” but funny that you said that, you did, now you can run off with some hoe that has nothing but gonorrhea

It killed me inside to know that you were with another, but I had to remind myself, that you were just a fucker, to break that down for you, it’s a whore, a slut of a guy, a guy with no feelings, no emotions inside. He can hurt me with actions and words he possesses he can hurt with a single look of desperation.

There’s nothing I can do he was my first ever lust but, I can never repeat this enough, I was never in love, I loved the thought of you.

The thought of someone, my very own, that sense of achievement, to feel like I I could always phone. I was going through hard shit and I’m glad you didn’t stay, because if you can’t handle me at my worst, I think you should go a stray. You were my light, my day, my stars in the night, but the breakup we had, punctured a hole in my heart. If I’ve ever learnt from anything, love is the one thing I know, that if the guy doesn’t love you, than you should let him go, because to be on the end where you’re crazy in lust, then to be told that you’re nothing is just a punch in the guts. It’s like a pain that’s inside, that is painful to hold, it is incredibly fucked, it hurts you deep down, just to be told, I don’t love you, I don’t need you, I don’t even know. It’s like an ache, a wound, an open infected cut, let’s just pray I don’t ever fall back again in lust