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I need to write this before the words slip away completely

on navigating a CIRS diagnosis in real-time

By Sur Ren Dirt (she/they)Published 2 years ago 2 min read
3
I need to write this before the words slip away completely
Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

I need to write this before the words slip away completely...

Maybe one day

I'll go back and jigsaw the

pieces of my brain

caught up in this web here

I need to write this before the words slip away...

They say the mold changes

(has changed?)

my brain

I need to write this before the words slip...

Through fingers that forgot

to turn off the stove

today

I need to write this before the words...

Forgot the word "deck" today

but remembered how to spell

"pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis"

(ironcially, this is not my diagnosis)

I need to write this before the...

Hair on my head

continues to thin

I need to write this before...

My first

re-exposure

happened last

weekend

I need to write this...

You will read these words

And wonder if I've lost my mind

(I haven't - am just sharing it with mycotoxins at the moment)

I need to write...

To re-member (to forget)

what the mold destroyed

I need to...

Rest

I need...

Help

I...

Completely away slip words the before this write to need I...

am exhausted

Away slip words the before this write to need I...

am relieved

Slip words before this write to need I...

am angry

Words before this write to need I...

am learning

Before this write to need I...

am scared

This write to need I...

am hopeful

Write to need I...

am dying

To need I...

am living

Need I...

am letting go of everything I thought I knew

I...

am exactly where I need to be

By Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash

Helpful resources to understand Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (CIRS) and biotoxin illness, as well as my own journey, are listed below:

Surviving Mold Website

List of Doctors certified in the Shoemaker protocol (diagnosing and treating CIRS/biotoxin illness)

9 Ways to Help a Victim of Toxic Mold

Exposing Mold Website

My CaringBridge Site

(note: I am not a medical professional nor am I a mold expert, though I am quickly learning much more than I ever wanted to know about mold. The above poetic spew is from my own moldy brain and is my way of processing what is happening to my body, and what has progressed/degenerated slowly over time with little to no explanation until now).

how to
3

About the Creator

Sur Ren Dirt (she/they)

Write now I'm plaaaying with words.

And also, I need a little support: https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/rendirt

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