I Must Confess, I'm Raw

Dear love,

I must confess, I'm raw

I have a long list of men who fell in love with me

I have a long history of getting cold feet

One by one,

A perfect romance would soon become bleak

Weary and raw, I'd soon retreat

Be not dismayed

That, love, I don't desire you

My biggest worry is that I'll be thirty and doomed,

Alone,

Unfilled,

And used

I hope some day I'll be someone's bride

Sparkling and glowing in white

There's probably a modernist rolling her eyes

Dictating what she assumes about my individuality

So for argument's sake,

All that define me are connection and intimacy

These things I value and I will not betray

Love, I pray I keep the lessons of past transgressions

And the relationships I ran from

One taught me adventure

And how I loved his anglo quirks

Another voided me greatly of my faith, my God

He lacked depth beyond the flesh

A complete contrast to the English rose

But of all my past lovers,

I shared a common complaint,

They ignored my need for boundaries and emotional space

Please,

Bear these things in mind

As I explore this era of self-compassion,

To be kind and understanding of my intricacies and inclinations

Spare me of lamentation

Have me not regret

Have me, instead,

With devotion and endearment

This is all I ask of you

Sincerely,

Yours truly