I Lost my Childhood

Did I lose my childhood the day I stopped wondering about the world? Did I lose my childhood the day I unabashedly gave up my hobbies and started fulfilling responsibilities without anyone's permission? Did I lose my childhood the day I started arguing with my grandmother's stories? Did I lose my childhood the day I started questioning the existence of God? Did I lose my childhood the day I felt lost, left behind in the world? Did I lose my childhood the day I started liking loneliness? No relationship was proving to be tempting to me. Did I lose my childhood the day I did not want to get a peaceful and comfortable sleep, even though I was completely exhausted? Did I lose my childhood the day I erased all the emotions from my heart and hid behind a thick sheet of pretense? Did I lose my childhood the day I started feeling lost? When I gave up the desire to eat from my mother's hands. As if the thread connecting my soul was broken. Did I lose my childhood that day? When even the memories of my first friend could not bring tears to my eyes. Did I lose my childhood that day? When I stopped insisting on anything in front of my father. Did I lose my childhood that day? When I started measuring my happiness and sadness by the words of people. Did I lose my childhood that day? When I was taught the difference between my own and those who are not. And I started looking at everyone with suspicion. Did I lose my childhood that day? When I realized this, I wanted my lost childhood again. I deceived myself in a very charming way when I gradually gave up everything that I was entitled to. And that day I lost my childhood.