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I like looking at you in the dark

by Melissa Ingoldsby 2 months ago in surreal poetry / love poems · updated 2 months ago
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A piece of you in my mind

hmm, we have been trapped like this before

A never ending loop of harsh teachers

Giving us grades only based on fear

And here we are, looping into a madness

Created by a desert of knowledge that was surface level, sand-Sahara-dry, and devoid of water,

I know we are trapped, but at least you are here with me

In the dark, we can hear one another, an old comfort I cannot place

A mix of feelings that other people may have tried to evoke

But with you, red flowing waterfall,

I think it’s you

That sounds like real wisdom

And real cute, too, if I may say, though I’m much too polite to express such a red throated presumption, a white hot passion that

Your strong short phrased ideas prevail

“Th-Thanks for that,” you drone off in a quiet stutter, in that sifting voice that makes all the poison go away.

I like looking at you in the dark

It feels safer

Because I want to lock my eyes with yours, but all that blocking stuff,

The stuff we say to push each other away,

Is darker than the lights being shut off,

And I want so badly to see you

And for you to dream of it, too

Red flowing waterfall of mine.

surreal poetrylove poems

About the author

Melissa Ingoldsby

I write short stories and poetry. I hope you find yourself in between the spaces of my words.

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insights

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  3. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  4. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  5. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

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Comments (13)

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  • Chilcosta2 months ago

    It was so much fun!

  • C. Rommial Butler2 months ago

    A beautifully wrought slice of life, as usual!

  • Cathy holmes2 months ago

    Beautiful piece. Well done.

  • The Dani Writer2 months ago

    A brilliant concept for a poem! And you tell it so well! Enjoyed this read, Melissa. Great job!

  • Kendall Defoe2 months ago

    I was surprised by this one (maybe I shouldn't have read it surrounded by the dark). But dreams can be all the light we need... Interesting and interested...

  • Cucchia Tin2 months ago

    Outstanding surreal poem!!! Yeah! Congrats on Top Story!!!💖💕

  • Babs Iverson2 months ago

    Outstanding surreal poem!!! Yeah! Congrats on Top Story!!!💖💕

  • Brenton F2 months ago

    a little bit of magic this!

  • ReallyRache?2 months ago

    I LOVE this!!!

  • Dawn Salois2 months ago

    Wonderful! Congratulations on your Top Story!

  • Keila Aartila2 months ago

    So delicious - nice work!

  • Love this and congratulations on your Top STory Sis

  • Judey Kalchik2 months ago

    Congratulations on your #TopStory for this poem!

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