I Just Wanna Dance

I so badly

Want to just get up and dance

To that upbeat song playing in my head

In the comfort of my own room

But the sorrow of losing you

Of leaving you

Looking at the unpacked boxes

That I brought back from your house

Isn't allowing me to get up and move

Ironically,

There you are

Packing for your next trip

Never pushing aside your enjoyment

Even in times of despair

While here I am

In isolation

But feeling even more cooped up

With my sorrows

I've never been one to enjoy

I don't really know how to do it

I'm staring at travel websites

Thinking if I can be brave

I am brave!

I have travelled the world alone

What's stopping me now?

The thought that I might regret

Not doing this with you.

But do you care?

No

You used to laugh at me when I danced silly

In the privacy of our own room

Maybe now I'm actually too scared to dance

Because you'll laugh at me again

And not a kind laugh it was

It was disgust

Was it always there?

Did I not see it before?

Are the feelings only rushing in now?

Masked as fear

As discipline and the need to work hard

But actually I don't dance

Because you never liked my goofyness?

Oh dear.