I Hate to Love You

I hate to love you.

Not because you aren't incredible and beautiful

Because you are

I hate to love you because you give me a sense of purpose

A false sense of hope

When I'm with you it feels like you care

But when it's 1:37AM and I can't stop thinking of you

I know that you're not thinking of me

There's just something intoxicating about you

I don't know what it is,

Whether it's your playful smile,

Or soft peering eyes

Or if it's your unique energy that no one can match,

But it consumes me

Your kiss is,

Soft yet aggressive,

As if you're holding back

But at the same time,

Letting loose

As if you're stopping time,

Yet it's over faster than it began

I think the problem is that you believe every lie you tell yourself

That you hate so many things about yourself

That you refuse to believe me when I say

That every little thing about you fascinates me

You don't believe me when I say I won't leave

You won't listen when I say everything will be okay

I know you will be incredible until your last breath

And every moment for the rest of time

I guess we can't be together

I guess that's why I hate to love.