Poets logo

I Give

Up.

By Bex JordanPublished 3 years ago • 1 min read
Stop (Photo: @UmaSabirah)

I sacrificed

A home, a family, a life

I'd planned,

It was so far from perfect

But it was MINE…

And now you tell me

You never fully

loved

me?

///

I tried to understand,

Tried to be there

To support

To be everything

You could ever want,

While I shrank

Smaller and smaller

Into something you

Could trust,

Until there was

Almost nothing left

For either of us

Of what makes me

Who I am.

///

I asked

(for the first time)

For what I needed,

Trying to make my requests

Tiny, reasonable:

Don't hurt me?

Don't take me

Down, stop threatening,

Please?

But even these

Were too much,

So I gave

And gave,

Trying to save,

Trying to be

Something you could

Hold dear,

And when I finally turned,

I saw

nothing.

So

I

gave

up.

///

Now, I pull myself

Out of this hole

I dug,

Strain my back

To climb

Into the Light

And wonder how

I put up with so little

For so long.

And I realize…

You were

Right.

///

You warned me that

You had issues,

That I deserved better,

Said I should give up.

I, in my misplaced

Hero complex,

Took it as a

Challenge.

I should have

Known better,

To listen to the

Words you say.

I suppose

It was partially

My fault.

(but

fuck you,

anyway).

heartbreak

About the Creator

Bex Jordan

They/She. Writer. Gardener. Cat-Lover. Nerd. Always looking up at the sky or down at the ground.

Profile photo by Román Anaya.

Bluesky: @umasabirah.bsky.social

Enjoyed the story? Support the Creator.

Subscribe for free to receive all their stories in your feed. You could also become a paid subscriber, letting them know you appreciate their work.

Subscribe For Free

Reader insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment
    Written by Bex Jordan