I Can't Breathe.

Oh hello sir, there seems to be a misunderstanding.

It’s with my twen- oh okay you need to check. Alright go ahead and inspect.

Ok-okay you need my hands? I don’t mean to disobey.

Let me explain deception is not my aim. But my people have fallen before me, I don’t want my fate to be the same.

Listen I know what’s being said, you can’t listen to his claim.

Derek you know me man. You worked security with me!

So you know me! This isn’t the man I’m trying to be.

I know I’m innocent before proven guilty. Not the other way around.

Before I can plead my case I’m on the ground. No better than a hound they’re gonna put down.

Knee put on me firmly.

Okay I know the drill. Lay on the ground, they’ll find what needs to be found.

I’ll be up in a minute. Worst case scenario, I’ll do time.

I’m no stranger to crime, but I did my time.

That’s who I was not who I am.

I took my punishments like a man. Now I wanna start fresh, do the best I can.

To become someone my daughter can look up to.

So while you have me pinned down, put yourself in my shoes. Try and sing my blues.

Would you want someone to do this to you?

Okay it’s getting a little hard to breathe.

Stay calm, it won’t be long until I leave. It’s demeaning and embarrassing, but it’s status quo.

This is how they treat black folk. To them we’re just a different breed of cockroach.

Okay okay. Chauvin, officer Chauvin please.

Please get off me man! I can’t breathe.

My chest is starting to heave. What kind of tricks do you have up your sleeve?

I have to try to plead.

I...can’t breathe...please listen to me.

I...can’t breathe...I feel my life slipping from me.

I can hear people trying to help me… begging to let me free. The louder they scream the harder they squeeze.

Come on Derek you know me! When we both worked at El Nuevo.

I can feel my soul starting to release.

Mamma! Mamma I’m through! Mamma...I can see you. Why can I see you?

Why is my skin see through?

Coming to get me?! What do you mean?! This has to be some kind of dream!

What about Gianna, Terrence, Roxie, Bridgette and Coutney?

I-I can’t go. I have so much to say. I need to make sure they’re okay.

What about MY BABY?! I won’t be able to see her grow up. But no matter what I’ll give her all my love. Whether on Earth or above.

To all of you mourn me, if you’re gonna protest please do it peacefully.

Remember me, if you knew me. Everyone don’t worry about me.

I’ll be good, even though you can’t see. I’m standing on wood.

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Nobody knows my sorrow.

The weight of the world is so heavy. The souls of these men are so hollow.

Why do all these people hate me? Why do all these people follow?

The weight of the world is so heavy. It’s on my neck and I can’t breathe.

“Alright bye mom I’m going for a run.”

“Okay be careful hun. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

he heads out the door and onto the street.

“I gotta stay in shape no matter the heat.

Rain, sleet, hail or snow, do I skip a day? hell no.

A run a day keeps the heart problems away.

Man I wish Akeem could be here with me. Running can get a little bit lonely.

Maybe later I’ll have him workout with me.”

Sweat started to glisten on his forehead from the beams of the sun.

Halfway through his run, something caught his eye.

A house under construction, at the end of a neighborhood.

Just checking in because he’s a curious guy.

Little did he know, the eruption, that was boiling underneath.

“I wanna see how it’s all put together. Man it’s like a skeleton.

I really need to go back to school, so I can finally be an electrician.

I gotta go back to South Tech and get my degree. The kids are almost done with school, pretty soon nothing will be able to stop me.”

He stared starry eyed at the wires laid bare. the installation out in the open to see.

Where others, really didn’t bother, that’s where he cared. He was like a moth to a flame, planks placed together so neatly. Looking around to see what was to eventually be. pulled in like heavy gravity.

He had to get back on his way, and get on with the rest of his day.

In his mind, this was the end of it,

Suddenly a truck approached him from behind.

“Stop!” Being shouted at the young man. “I’m telling you to stop!”

The citizen police shouted again.

Running past another “concerned citizen” seeing the chase couldn’t wait to get in.

Seeing these aggressors as his kin. Grabbing his keys and hopping in his truck as well.

One of the men came out the car touting his gun. A portly man with a grey beard, talking is the last thing he was going to do. This is what the young man feared. Turning tail the other way, now the other compatriot joining in.

His truck attempting to block his way, the young man narrowly dodging the rear.

This was just another day. Criminal before a statement can be made.

Not like they would listen to what he had to say.

All the dodging and sliding out the way, with this sidekick truck tailing him.

He began to limp, the truck had some luck impaling him.

This was just supposed to be a regular run. Now he is being pinched between two trucks and being threatened by the barrel of a gun.

When the bull is charging towards you, what else can you do?

The young man, by himself and unarmed tries to survive.

Grabbing the gun, the sound of thunder cracking sounded overhead.

Nothing hit him, so he kept attacking like a lion who hasn’t been fed.

and it’s lunch time. This brown-bearded male Karen had plenty of meat on his bones.

Blood spraying into the air, as the young man was hit with lead. Still he fought.

Beating the pig-man like a bill collector picking up late pay for his loan.

Until yet another shot exploded.

The young man finally folded, his body went limp.

The fat fish-faced gimp. Huffing and puffing, laying over the body of a man who didn’t want to fight in the first place, venom spewed out of his blubbery face.

“Fucking N*****”

This wasn’t a negotiation, this wasn’t even an interrogation. This was a decimation.

A human life was needlessly taken, communities around the nation shaken.

Because they slaughtered him in broad daylight, wasn’t violent, wasn’t looking for a fight, he was going out for a run. But ended up making his way to the light. The powers that be, treated these ball-less men as if they were in the right.

We need to protest, day and night, week after week, until they feel the fallen’s plight.

So until the words “Black Lives Matter” from the elite’s mouth are said.

I run with Ahmaud.

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Nobody knows my sorrow.

The weight of the world is so heavy. The souls of these men are so hollow.

Why do all these people hate me? Why do all these people follow?

The weight of the world is so heavy. It’s on my neck and I can’t breathe.

It was an average day for her. Just like any other.

As an EMT all the disease she has to see. Especially during this time.

Crime, was rampant around her, with the Rona on the rise.

She was doing double time for sure. Working round the clock until they find a cure.

From sundown to sunrise, she did without complaining.

As long as she could make a difference in one’s life.

With each patient treated, with more seated, she stayed in the eye of the storm while others would have retreated.

When the thought of being defeated, crept up in the back of her mind, she would have to remind, herself what was the fire in her gut.

That big dream that she chased so viciously.

To take care of everyone, and live better than she’s living currently. Everyone that’s tight knit with her can spread out flourishly.

Whether it’s her playing cards with aunties. Cause double the trouble when Bianca was with her “mini-me” whenever they were together. She was Breezy, not like the weather.

For her fam-jam she was the tether that held em close and tight.

Ending any fight, making every time quality, if the family were the world to her,

Then she was the axis that they spin on. magnetizing to her, she’s the iron-woman that they cling on.

Now let pose a hypothetical. To see how you would feel. How you would react.

Someone busts down your door, not announcing their intent or who they are.

Just stating you have drugs as a matter of fact.

You would attack. Right?

Someone broke into your home and is terrorizing you.

You would fight! It’s a natural thing for a human to do.

Upholders of the law, taught to follow right and wrong.

It is their job. Breaking in like they’re looking to rob.

The man of the house, did what a man does.

Firing like a heartless boss during Quarantine.

Can you imagine one of the men you hit was the fuzz?

The tool was registered under your name, this house is under you name, yet you’re to blame.

They open fire at you, while you dodge a few. You had no idea what the missed bullets would do.

Hitting your girlfriend in the room behind you.

Eight times. Eight times she was hit. That’s not the end of it.

They have the audacity to arrest you! Attempted murder. The definition of bullshit.

Worst of all, Mimi-me, Breezy, The legendary EMT. Slain in her sleep.

We cannot let these men walk free. That is when justice dies truly.

Simply, shrugging and saying “wrong house.” As if they walked into the wrong classroom. Hmm seems like Mario wasn’t the only one eating mushrooms.

That’s the only way you would be able to explain to me your insanity.

Brushing it off as a mistake, the only mistake was giving you all something more lethal than a plastic spoon. This isn’t a cartoon! Things don’t start over tomorrow!

You stepped on a blossoming rose and expected us to not weep.

Well what you sow is what you will reap.

I never once said her name. I know you know who I am talking about exactly.

So say her name for me.

Now people can see what I see.

They can feel my sorrow. The weight now on OUR shoulders.

We can move towards tomorrow.

I have found the people that love me. The weight is now on OUR shoulders.

Finally, I can breathe.

I feel weak, I have brothers and sisters on the front lines fighting for freedom.

Against a fascist kingdom.

Odds stacked against them, military racked against them, the narrative hacked against them, unity lacked against them.

Their chances thinner than a slim jim. Like a basketball dancing on the rim.

I look at myself, what am I doing to help?

I am disgusted with my fear, with my lack of courage.

I feel like a deer, stuck in the headlights. The fight for human rights, makes me feel like I’m on a tightrope at skyscraper heights.

I feel like a coward, like a pussy that hides in a bunker, and turns off all the lights.

I feel like an armless man boxing against Mayweather.

I don’t feel equipped, missing my clip, no ammunition, in the middle of war, I stumble and trip.

I’m enraged at myself because I’m not the soldier they need me to be. I feel like I’m acting selfishly.

Safe in the confines of my own home, while the rest fight like gladiators in Rome.

I’m sorry I’m not out there, I’m sorry I’m swallowed by fear. But I will stand my ground here. I will no longer live with self pity, I will do what I can.

Donate, make senators understand, send relief, and stand for my beliefs.

I will work from the shadows, the grunge work is what I’ll handle.

I’ll light the vigil candles, I’ll help rebuild.

So don’t worry warriors go on without me onto the battlefield.

Make history, fight till the end, I’ll be here to help the world heal.

I made this for George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, and Breonna Taylor.

But let us not forget, Oscar Grant, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, and Emmett Till. And many still, that I wasn’t able to name but know you’re in my thoughts. You’re in my prayers, and this was all for you.

(author’s note: okay so I feel like the ending verse is a bit disjointed. Because I should’ve said my thoughts on their passing. However, I felt like I needed to comment on the protests going on currently as I’m writing this. I placed myself the best I could in their shoes, so how I felt about their passing is in each of their passages. Deep in my gut I felt terrible about the fact that I haven’t been as active as I would like in the protests against police brutality. These are my rawest feelings on the matter. Due to the subject being so close to my heart it is a bit clunky. Whether it be me speaking in a way that the deceased wouldn’t have spoken. Or it only being about three people who recently lost their lives to police brutality or brutality in general. They all should get a passage of their own, I tried my best and I hope that it’s able to come off as sincere as I’m trying to make it. This is made as a tribute for them as for people who are fighting for them. I did my best with the chorus, not the best at songwriting but I tried haha. God Bless and stay safe everyone.)