I Broke the Cycle

Mom I’ve broken the cycle.

Mommy I’ve broken the cycle , but you are still there

More than that, you helped weave those chains that held so forcefully to me, that left me gasping for air as I desperately still reached for your hand

Not knowing that hand was the one that would cause me the most pain

But mommy I still broke the chain.

Without you

Without your help

I’ve watched you through the broken windows of my impressionable eyes my whole life,

you were so beautiful to me, mommy you taught me so much,

you taught me to protect you with all my tiny bodies might,

you taught me what fear felt like,

you made me grow up and start out just like you mommy weren’t you proud?

With every bruise I was just like you, more and more every day.

I felt right at home.

As my mind and soul were stripped from the shell that once was my body something changed.

I saw myself through a mirror in my tiny angels eyes

it wasn’t me that was standing there… but you.

I knew what I had to do.

I smashed through and ran, I took him with me

the chains that you helped weld, I learned I was strong enough to tear them apart piece by piece and sew the holes that were in my soul

I used the broken pieces and welded a stronger chain… one that held an anchor for me and my angels to get us to shore

I extended my hand for you to come and live for more but you willfully wouldn't take my grasp ,

for the cycle of time had you in a lapse,

But i had no choice, it was time for me to go,

from there I took the broken pieces and started building,

building something strong and sturdy something new for them,

without you

Something way stronger than I ever thought could be true ,

something and someone completely different than you and all I ever knew,

much different then the way I grew

I slayed the Demons you bred in my core and gave my angels a life of much more

Mommy I broke the chain , the chain of pain… I built something that was worthy to sustain

They don’t look at me through broken windows but hold my hand knowing they are safe from the shadows.

Mommy I broke the cycle, and you are who I have to thank

Thank you for teaching me not to trust and teaching me that that life was never enough.

I learned the lesson you painfully taught

finally I know i am someone that you are not