I AM Home

They say home is where the heart is

Whatever you can't simply dismiss

As something you could do without.

Whatever makes you want to shout

And scream to the rooftops.

Whatever you can't just STOP...

My home...I'm not sure what that means

Because whenever it seems

Like I've finally found it,

Life throws me around

For a loop, or into another universe entirely

To a point where I can't see at all

Who I'm supposed to be.

And I've come to slowly surmise

That Home is just a state of mind.

When thoughts flow and creativity weaves

In and out of the eaves

In my mind.

A sense of security deep inside

That I alone can wholly provide.

A moment where I finally feel like I can breathe

And again see the beauty in everything.

The rush of crisp morning air in my lungs

Like the song of life being sung

The whisper of the breeze saying to me,

“We’re alive. You’ve made it, don’t you see?”

When I know that I'm good.

At what I do

At life

At being me…

In my eyes, I think this will always be true

In my brain it’s a light you can’t unscrew:

Home is belonging

Home is control

Home is self-acceptance

Home is...Me.

But not the Me most of the outside world sees...

It’s the Me that struggles for every breath

And hopes I survive 'til a natural death.

The Me that has come so far

The Me that still tries infinitely hard.

The Me that I find difficult to talk about

The Me I know I wouldn’t be me without.

The Me that has grown so much these past few years

The Me that is still fighting even through my tears.

The Me that knows there are better days ahead

And the Me who acknowledges the turmoil in my head.

The Me that no matter how unappealing and torn

Is a Me that will always be worn.

But that Me is so much more than its flaws

It’s beautiful, strong, and worth the applause

That I’m starting to allow myself to extend

In learning that all of Me is really my friend.

Some may think that these things should be put high on a shelf,

But I’ve realized that Home is my sense of Self.