I...
...
I
I want to do better
I want to be better
I
I need to do better
I need to be better
But
Better feels hard though
Like walking
Walking through the dirt, the mire, the quicksand sludge
Fighting against demons, but not those powerful mythical beasts
The demons within
Clawing at me from the inside
Replaying and reminding me
of past mistakes and past missteps
Like an insurmountable mountainous task
Or an insurmountable mountain
Without a sherpa to help you reach the summit
Like...
....
Like working against the tidal waves as they hit you
Like...
...
Like walking through torrential rain and the strongest winds
Like...
...
Like going against the grain when your mind, body and soul want you to give in
Feeling every inch of your body trying to drag you into that dark place
Feeling every fibre of my being pulling me down
Pushing back is never easy
Especially when you are so used to making those mistakes
It becomes your reality
And better
Better...
...
Better is just a pipe dream
But
I...
...
I won't...
I won't give up
I won't give in
I can't give up
I can't give in
As
Harder worries me
But doesn't derail me
Harder stresses me
But doesn't detract me
Harder floors me
But doesn't immobilise me
Harder doesn't give up
But
Neither do I
*
Thanks for reading!
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About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Scottish-Italian poet/writer from Glasgow.
Overflowing in English language torture and word abuse.
"Every man has a sane spot somewhere" R.L Stevenson
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection is now available!
https://paulspoeticprints.etsy.com
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More stories from Paul Stewart and writers in Poets and other communities.
Doing it for the troops
The others dropped like flies around me. We fought and struggled to get to this point. I'm the only one left now. The objective is right there. A mere two hundred feet away. The last of my team got a bullet to the head right next to me, but I couldn't do anything. I was able to locate and neutralise the sniper as he shot my friend, so his death was at least not in vain.
By Mohammed Darasi6 days ago in Fiction
Comments (10)
Whoaaaa, this was so powerful and uplifting! Excellent job!
Absolutely…. Everything is hard, but it gets a whole lot harder if we give up xx
Amazing! Love the rhythm, the pauses of the repeated "I" and "like." Your structure here lends so much emotionality. It's so impactful and relatable. I think my favorite part is the final stanza. "Harder worries me But doesn't derail me Harder stresses me But doesn't detract me Harder floors me But doesn't immobilise me." 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Courageous & raw!!! Fantastically penned!!! Left some live!!!💕❤️❤️
But may I...? (Sorry, just feeling a little down today.)
“Harder stresses me But doesn't detract me Harder floors me But doesn't immobilise me” Fuck yeah. You got hella fight brother.
I love this! It's so good! Thank you for sharing this!
Another brilliant poem, you have a way with words! This part struck me hard: "Fighting against demons, but not those powerful mythical beasts The demons within"
Great resolution in the face of doubt! Well written.
Heartbreakingly raw and beautifully written. Well done.