It’s not that I don’t like to cook
It’s that there are one million things I love much more
ADHD will choose the most interesting
***
Always
***
A new recipe, a previously unknown vegetable, a passionate Youtuber, the beginning of fall
Will make cooking interesting… for a while
Sometimes, there’s balance, tricks work
***
But not always
***
Was it my father’s deadly cancer?
Was it the suicide of my best friend’s father?
Was it feeling so low after getting myself out of hell after eight years of fighting with PDSD?
Was it capitalism where everything hard becomes cruel?
Was it my undiagnosed ADHD being more challenging for me than I suspected then?
Was it him playing games with me when all I wanted was to be hugged in a safe place?
Was it everything together, being too much for one person to handle?
***
I didn’t cook anything since October 2021
I didn’t feel like it. I couldn’t make myself do it
ADHD won’t let you feed yourself sometimes
I focused on eating, only to survive; it was enough
***
Mourning and resting
Focussing on writing and my art class
Taking Concerta
They all help
Time actually heals when you help it
Being hugged by a safe place would have helped too
My ADHD kept choosing him
***
Over and over
***
Lately, I started to feel like cooking again
A curry with rice and vegetables
A lasagna, and try the gluten-free pasta again, now that I know it shouldn’t be cooked first
A vegan Sunday brunch
A cinnamon stick in my latte
Orange and lemon slices in my homemade iced tea, just like they do at my 2 pm break place
A glass of rum that reminds me of my father, with desert
A bottle of wine opening this new phase of my life
***
A bouquet of sunflowers and fuchsia roses from a new love as a center piece
***
How’s your kitchen?
Mine sucks (and my ADHD hates it)
Comments (3)
Oh, I really enjoyed this, Jolyne. I liked the different transitions and the things that you shared threaded throughout. I hate cooking but my kitchen is quite beautiful. I have 5 family members with ADHD, so I feel for you (and for them) as I read through this. It looks different in each of them. Some like to cook and some don't! Thank you for sharing this piece :)
I would love to hear about everyone’s kitchen ☺️. What do you love and what you wish to change?
I try to keep my kitchen filled with everything from the garden. Living off the land is the best way to go with my health. I think your health is directly affected by what you eat and where you get what you eat. Try to stick with homegrown and it may also be able to change your inner self, along with meditation. You may like my story below: https://vocal.media/longevity/mindfulness-meditation-t51ba0d6u Thanks for sharing.