I have a headache. It's a big old stress headache. I'm backed up and in a tangled mess of emotions, dark thoughts, and exasperation. I am a mother. And I am a grandmother. And to be fair, I just want to escape.
But anyone who knows anything about life, knows that's not gonna happen. That's not what mothers and grandmothers do. Not this one, at least. So, I take a deep breath. Sigh. Now, I've centered myself again.
"This too will pass," I tell myself for added comfort.
Problems. Problems we create ourselves by bad choices. Cycles. Cycles of insanity. Madness. Blending in madness and calling it method. Lies we tell ourselves.
I want to correct the writing outside of the lines so badly. To be a map that points, "go this way and not that!" But genetic propensity and clogged ears don't listen. Stupid, stubborn little lambs.
I was the blueprint in this mess, afterall. Guilt and shame cover me. Please recover from my "crazy." Don't follow. I have come from a long, unbroken line of crazy. Not unscathed, but wiser now.
Be better, I plead. I hurt when you hurt. Stop hurting yourselves. Break free, little birds and fly high above. Look down and see the earth framed in a different way. It makes sense from up there. Come see...please.
Hope. I hold on to you. So tight. And now, together, you and I can go on and my headache eases because I am above my own dark cloud of impatience and fear.
About the Creator
Shirley Belk
Mother, Nana, Sister, Cousin, & Aunt who recently retired. RN (Nursing Instructor) who loves to write stories to heal herself and reflect on all the silver linings she has been blessed with :)
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Comments (3)
This is one of the reasons I never wanna be a mother, let alone a grandmother. I want to correct the writing outside of the lines so badly. This line hit me so hard because I always get so hard on myself over things that I cannot control. Stupid, stubborn little lambs. That's how I feel to when I advise someone, they don't listen, they get hurt and come crying to me. Your poem was just so emotional and deep. I loved it so much!
This was full of self-realization and self-help. The kind of words that helps one move forward. Well done. Hope all is well. 💖
😍