His Glory Be

His Glory Be

At home in my own bed now, hiding, covers over head;

Head swimming with the thoughts, of all things done and said;

The taste of yet another, still lingering on my lips;

The loneliness I feel, I’m drowning in abyss..

The feeling that I long for will never come like this;

There’s nothing that will fix, the sting of all amiss;

I know my road is wrong, been trying for a while;

To set the things at right, I’ve been neglecting all the while;

I try to kill the pain, it keeps coming back around;

I don’t know what to do, I feel like I am drowned;

Every time I think I’m better, yet again I fall;

Just start the cycle over, want to give up all;

I know He has a plan for me, but sometimes hard to see;

I just pray won’t be the death of me, before His glory be;

I don’t want to live in darkness, I want my joy to share;

With someone with the passion of all that life can bear;

I’m waiting for my soldier, the person by my side, strength, courage, faith, and love, to carry on in stride;

I know that God has plans for me, these things I can’t deny;

but as I walk through darkness these feelings cannot hide;

I know He knows my everything and that’s what I wish to give;

But my flesh so weak and tired, Sometimes I hate to live;

I want you to be present in my life and in my being;

But I feel so far away sometimes I don’t know how to give;

I want to be a light, give hope to those around me;

That they might see my fight, and so wander to the light;

So often though, my darkness consumes the sweetness, bright;

I crawl through pain and sadness until the morning light;

I don’t want these as my answers, I want a better way;

But every night this pain consumes me, and my demons have their way;

I know it won’t be always, I know this too shall pass, but In these moments hardness is all I see at task;

I know your light will come. I know you have a plan;

Please keep me in your safety and hold by the hand;

I don’t know if I can make it, I’m scared of who I am;

Please guide me in the darkness ‘cause I don’t know that I can

You know the road before me and there’s nothing I can plan;

What You have before me, though, I do not understand;

My faith will not be faltered, although at times seems grim;

The bitterness that comes, has sweetness on the rims;

At last I reach for you, Lord, my solace in my room, You hold me in your arms as a baby in the womb;

I know my choices show, as if I do not care, but You always know me better, than even I could dare;

You know the root of heartache, You know the road I bare, You know the demons well, that haunt me here and there;

I don’t know what the answer is, I don’t know when or where;

I just pray that You keep holding me through every taunt and tear…

my heart is weak with sorrow, that only I have caused;

My searching for my solace has only weight and snare;

How can I say I love You still, with all these sins to bare;

I know that You have taken them, and continue to each day;

But putting them back on You, still feels like hell to pay;

I know that I’m Your daughter and You love me anyway;

You won’t leave me nor forsake me, Your promises are true;

I just long for You to hold me, until I’m feeling new.

Please take these ties that bind me, and break the curse at hand;

Release me from this darkness, but Your will is my command;

I don’t really want to live now, as I fall in once again;

Please save me from this prison, this place that I call home….

Not everybody sees it, so much is left unknown;

Unless they’ve walked this walk as well, still even then, their own;

We all have our road to bare, and bare it too we shall;

There’s turmoil in the trudging, sweet mercy’s all we seek;

Exhausted from the fighting, I feel my mind grow weak;

I lay struggling in my bed now, my demons hard to tame;

Praying for the dawn of day now, that will not be the same.