Him

His soft eyes gaze on mine.

His tender lips are so kind.

His gentle hands wrapped around my waist,

But yet, I feel unsafe.

Not unsafe with him,

But unsafe from myself

That maybe I'm the one to blame for not sticking forever out.

But it's not over.

At least that's what I keep telling myself.

He's happy and comfortable,

But I'm snappy and untouchable.

His intentions are sweet and kind,

but so were mine.

How do I tell him I've been thinking about... "him."

We've made memories and I love him so much,

But "we" had history and I didn't care about that much.

Stuck between the two,

But not stuck at all,

I have a relationship to tend to,

So why think about "Him" at all.

I feel so guilty,

The thoughts that run through my head,

But I can't help but ask

What if...

And it's all in my head.

The future is ours,

But it seems so far away.

Maybe we jumped too soon,

But that's what they all say.

It was love at first sight

At least that's what I thought.

Now I see who he really is

And it's not what I thought.

He's a gentleman,

But he can be rude.

"He's" a joker,

But can put you in the mood.

I try to show him off,

But all I get are boos,

Even when I was with “him”

I would get those too.

Feeling lonely,

But I have you and that for sure.

But what if I left?

Would you still see what we were?

Would you cry and blame yourself,

Or move on and claim someone else?

Questions running through my mind,

But I can’t seem to make time

To breath or relax

Because all I can think about is how much you were so kind.

I miss you already

And I have even left.

Truth is...

our relationship is healthy

And...

Well...

I guess...

We’ll see what’s left.