Poets logo

Here We Go Again

For All the Women That Are "Too Much"

By Nia WheatPublished 5 years ago 2 min read
Like

I didn't mean to fall for you, it kind of just happened.

I'm sure you didn't mean to wreck me, it kind of just happened.

We shared some good times though, didn't we?

It wasn't all bad... Was it?

.......

Like the times I cooked and baked for you...

Bought you groceries and cleaned my house before you arrived.

Made you feel special at all times, but you could care less about my feelings... (Double standards).

.....

I was always too much for you and I knew that from the start.

I knew it....

I knew it was too good to be true.

To have a chivalrous man that could speak kindly and spoil me too.

But hey, it is all in a days work, yeah?

We are young, right?? Now is the time to make mistakes. To live and learn...

So why do I feel like my gut has been wripped out of me.

I'm having anxiety so badly that my heart is skipping beats in my throat. (I'm sure my parents can see it from across the table.)

My food wants to stay in my belly but it can't. My anxiety is so high strung I can't hold anything in. I gave you my all.

I gave you my all.

Some say it was good though. I learned to love again. I opened up, again. At least now I know that when "Mr. Right" comes along I will know how to love him...

OKAY.

So now I guess I will heal all over again. Get up, brush my teeth, wet my hair and put leave in conditioner in it (let it air dry), put on makeup (or not), put my pants on, put a bra on (or not), put a shirt on, and then put a smile on and pretend like I am alright. Pretend like I didn't just waste months of my life exposing myself, vulnerably, to someone who wasn't ready to love me. Exhausting myself and all of my worth to pull him closer into my womb just so we could someday be one, all for him to tell me that I am a monster, the way I speak to him, my actions, my love was all too much.

No.

I was never too much. You were just not ready for the woman in me.

social commentary
Like

About the Creator

Nia Wheat

▪▪▪A Way of Expression. ✌🏽▪▪▪

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.