Heartbreak

You don't get to say everyone leaves you. Not anymore. I'm the one who lost something. You're the one who gave something away. I'm the one who everyone leaves. The one who gets left. Because I didn't leave you. You left me. Just like you said you wouldn't. Just like you made me believe you wouldn't. You convinced me that I loved you just so you could tell me you didn't love me anymore. You said I would get tired of you, but I never did. You got tired of me. Like everyone else does. Because that's my story. Not yours. Because you pushed me away.

And I tried, more than once, to save us, and all you could say was that it just wouldn't work out without even telling me what went wrong. So keep mourning your last relationship as if the one we had never happened.

I don't know if you think of me at all, or if I was just the rebound you needed to feel loved again, but I gave you my time and my heart. And you threw it all back in my face. Except you couldn't say it to my face. You sent a text and were done. If I wasn't so broken already, I wouldn't have let you get away with that. But as you said, my self-esteem isn't your responsibility.

I guess I'm the idiot for thinking you ever cared. Because even if you weren't ready for a relationship, if you cared, you would've told me in person. If you really cared, you wouldn't have led me on. You wouldn't have let me hold your hand on the train that last day. You wouldn't have stared into my eyes when I told you how happy you made me. You wouldn't have slept with me the night before and cuddled me the next morning.

But I still wished I kissed you that morning. I wish I hugged you one last time. If I knew it was the last time, I would've hugged you and held you as if I was never going to see you again.

Because apparently I never will.