Heartaches & Heartbreaks

Life is not always what it seems

It's nothing like my childhood dreams

A life filled with pain

It drives me insane

Heartaches & heartbreaks

Then something like magic

But really quite tragic

A love fills my heart

And tears me apart

Heartaches & heartbreaks

I want it so bad

It's driving me mad

Just want to feel love's strong embrace

Sweet, gentle kisses caressing my face

Heartaches & heartbreaks

My heart gets shattered

My dignity's not all that he battered

And into this strife

Comes another small life

Heartaches & heartbreaks

A dear, sweet, small child

So strong and so wild

My heart fills with joy

At the thought of this boy

Heartaches & heartbreaks

As my patience grew thin

A monster crept in

From my baby, he stole

That innocent soul

Heartaches & heartbreaks

Now there's a fight

With no sign of light

Life is not always what it seems

It's nothing like my childhood dreams.

I just uncovered this poem, buried in a file folder, tucked inside a file box from many years ago.

It was originally written in 1997. My son was six years old. He had been conceived by rape. Social Services had decided to go after my rapist for Child Support. He, in turn, filed for joint custody and visitation, which was granted.

While visiting his father, my son was molested. I wrote this poem while going through a court battle to have visitation rights revoked and charges of child endangerment laid against my rapist. Although visitation was revoked, charges were never filed.