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Heart numbed

I expect nothing and am still let down, daily

By I am me Amanda Nissen/ChampionPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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Heart numbed
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I was nothing to any of you, from 2011 to 2006, I loved you basement assholes the only way I love my father, I love you guys and you didn't ever appriate it, alot of times, I wished I wasn't wakable and then the wicked game that's been going on forever and so many have copied since them, are actulaly tryin to get me dead. Shit, I know I even gave you head, in MY dead friends bed, not yours but MINE.

Everyone refuses to read the obvious signs, then to walk into a once safe place, to find the peaceful owner GONE, just like 2011. You will never learn, I didn't want the fight this will bring on and I have no ones back, but my own. Ruining my mental health, was a choice for you and you keep repeating it, I am the ONLY trust fund baby, so why do I have to live a lie, while the ones who want me dead are allowed to be where my family is, and if they aren't, they just didn't want me there, because that means I have been adopted by people who love to hear me sing and they would protect me from the ONE that doesn't let me be me.. when she doesn't even know what's really going on. Thank you for leaving this shattered heart, in more pieces and allowing a junkie on my line, so I feel like I will never get out, you ruined my life, then turn around and believe I owe you anything by putting me in a dangerous for my sobriety place and depriving me of basic human needs. One is in another state and One is upstairs, everyday I ask, why am I here, why did I have to wake up to a day that the monkeys will for sure do something stupid. Your teeth are rotted out, your intentions are dead, let m go back home, before the freedom you adore, you no longer have, because what I have seen is a house full of people who are more than a danger to themselves, but society and I don't feel safe around the people who are trying to stay true to only one thing, and that ending my life, before they get exposed, all they do is talk, no effort or actions and that's the only thing you frauds want to commit to? Killing me, because you see me as the problem, even when you intrude mu life everywhere I go.

I felt relieved at one point last year, I actually thought someone found me who actually understood that everything I need right now costs nothing, I just got found by a wanna be, a cast off, a fraud who wants my life, worst part, the chaotic idiot has me in the same house as someone who cant take a seat and realize even if you were one of the disowned, we still don't have the same life, and everyday I thank god that I know what a man's love feels like, so I won't ever fall for the dumb shit you all do..

Don't kill the hand that feeds you!

surreal poetry
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About the Creator

I am me Amanda Nissen/Champion

Just someone with a lot going on in her life, currently it's not as positive as my life usually is, but I am writing my way through it. After all nothing lasts forever..

I am hoping for more positive creations, and not true crime issues.

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