He Loves Me Not

Sweet sunshine daisy baby

bright blonde bulb bring me a conversation

I’ll never understand how you can say everything with your eyebrows

I spend each day wishing that I could pickpocket your smiles

And play the miniature webs between your fingers like a harp

I’d like to fall asleep to the sound of your voice, letting itself go into a deep vibrato

Making my mess of muscles make sense and move to the rhythm of your heart

you punch through walls and banish the night

blending the black corners of my heart into cinnamon swirling halos

You’re so goddamn human

It makes me want to sculpt you

And crack open Donatello and Michelangelo’s masterpieces

To see if they even bothered to detail the inside

I’m going to spend so much time molding your heart and brain

That my skin will turn to wrinkles

And the only light in my eyes will be you

You’re elemental perfection

air, earth, water and fire will

bow to your smooth, deep honey chuckle

the rain and the snow

Will make up your skin

and every root of every tree

will marvel at your eyes

begging them not to blink for too long

You make me want to everything

With you

I want to make up

Make down

Make side, straight, backwards

Make loop-the-loops

Maybe even make out

But whatever we will make

Will be beautiful.

And I spend each day wishing that I could pickpocket your smiles

Well at least, that’s how I used to feel

That’s what i used to breathe in and out

before the pedestal fell and

and I thanked god the clay hadn’t completely dried yet

All I see when I look at you

is the sun evaporating question marks from soil

and papier-mâché emotions peeling off your face

I see our future arguments spilling over counter tops

I see you but you look nothing like yourself

I no longer dream of your empty hand on my armrest

and my heart beats awkwardly, like it’s not sure where it’s loyalties lie

and I can’t help but feel unsafe

whenever you’re nearby

your presence looms over me

and I can only hear you speak in full surround sound on max volume

and I don’t think my eardrums can take the pressure

I want to pick the “he loves me not” petal

and not have to justify keeping it

I don’t want to be in love