Never really had panic attacks
But then
I've never really been in this position before
I've never really tried to live my life
The way I wanted to
At my parents' house
With a toddler in tow.
I've never tried so hard, wanted so much and had so much to lose.
Never have I ever cared so much.
I've never been in this place before.
So how can I expect to never have experiences I've never had before?
For me, there's always a first for everything.
But then I have to learn from it.
I have to grow.
I have to do better.
I hate making the same mistakes over and over again, it feels like a waste of time and a waste of life.
I've already wasted so much of my life
I just can't lose anymore.
For me, it's time to take advantage of every moment, every opportunity, every meeting
But
Life always reminds me
To slow down.
To pay attention
And to always remember to give back to myself first.
Panic attacks come from stress
Vulnerability
Fear.
It's hard to always try to tell yourself that you're strong.
Because sometimes
You just need to be weak
And that's ok too.
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