grasp. livin’ with abusers in my head.

I’m disengaged

all connections misconduct themselves

cryin’ is like drinkin’

you’ll never get enough

until you’re deep down

on the ground

tryin’ to gather your belongings

into one smart basket not belongin’

to you at all

when your name became

the sound of abuse

how can I

overcome this now?

when I hear my name

I can hear voices crackle

far from kindness

although the goodness

has been falsified

to an enormous extent

to alleviate the stench

of any abuse

that happened to me

worth the trophy

for its speculation

screamin’

on all sides

prepared, perplexed

with abomination

of my little figure

always addled and in awe

of meticulously strip points

meant to hurt me severely

indelibly

leavin’ marks

allowin’ me to remember that

and not relive it

to the case of not livin’

my current life

in the state I’ve always wanted

yet with a shadow of abuse

beleaguerin’

my inner child

heavily injured

in these wars

“this time

I will protect you

this will not happen again

whatever it was will never be the same”

all the persons in me now

are adamant

to fight foreign foes

and come out clean in knowin’

that the abusers will still abuse

for it is their bread to eat

undefined, undercover undercurrent

of their excised leakage

“pick it up while you can

because it’s never too late

to stop

this narcissistic cycle of abuse!”

but I doubt any of them

could consciously comprehend

what I’m talkin’ about here

*

August – September 2022

***

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