Furry Planet

(Crash! Bang! Boom!)

Welcome friends, to the third rock from the sun's fiery lens.

Before we begin, can I offer you some homemade madeleines while your

ship's engineers work on repairing your engine's damaged firing pins?

...

(Clank. Dink. Clunk.)

Oh, please! Do not be afraid!

They are spongey, buttery, sugary cookies that pair

perfectly with a tall glass of ice cold lemonade.

...

(Ooh. Ahh. Giggles.)

My wife made them with love.

No! No! No! Don't eat those! These are her favorite gardening gloves!

The oval shaped shells are the cookies....(Babe...is it just me or do these

guys remind you of Star Wars Wookies?)

...

(Bark! Bark! Bark!)

No! No! No! Please don't run, This is Ellie Rue.

She is who I wanted to introduce you to.

Pay her teeth no mind, nor the hackles that grew.

She's our family's protector, and is simply not yet used to you.

She's a dog.

A Red Golden Retriever.

She's afraid of the fog, yet is a very cunning deceiver.

...

(Sniff. Sniff. Sniff.)

Hold your green hand out like this.

Dogs see with their noses, so please allow her to get a whiff.

Relax my new friends, Ellie can sense that you're stiff.

I will teach you about dogs, using photographs and glyphs.

...

(Cough. Cough. Ahhem.)

A dog is an animal, yet also a best friend.

They can fend for themselves, but as pets, they depend.

We feed them nutritious foods. Different brands. Yummy blends.

This picture is of a wolf. Dog's descended from them.

Their lifespans are short, while we humans live longer.

Which is why once you're bonded, there is no force that is stronger.

...

(Swipe. Swipe. Find.)

This is a color wheel, showcasing the colors of the human mind.

Dog's are however color blind.

It's the only true flaw in their design.

I have circled Yellow, and Blue.

They are the only two colors dog's can see,

And if they get a chance to chew your shoe, they will stalk, steal, and flee.

...

(Bounce. Bounce. Toss. Pee.)

Play, potty breaks, and sleep are key.

It helps them balance out their insane amount of energy.

Whether its fetch with a ball, stick, or shredded rope toy,

a packet of shredded cheese will always be your greatest decoy.

We use it for training, so they can become good girls, and best boys.

Just remember when its raining, to hide all of your corduroys.

Dog's need to exercise, or else they can become destructive,

which means if you're working from home,

it can be quite difficult to stay productive.

...

(Lick. Lick. Roll Over.)

Look! That means she likes you,

and doesn't sense a hostile take-over.

Look how she's cuddling your green feet,

man she's such a push-over.

I think it's time you fed her a treat,

here's the crust from an apple turnover.

I am so glad you were able to meet,

and honored to have my dog be your initial Earthling exposure.