Fucking Depression

It begins with a sense of the absence of something or someone. You are stuck inside a windowless room and you can sense the feeling of evening falling…falling.

A sense of failing, failing once again. Will I ever succeed? I feel like an imposter in a party, a stranger in a family setting being looked at in fear.

Sunny days are dark, dark days are night, and the sense of drowning, drowning in a dark ocean, alone.

Love is temporary, fleeting at best. The emotions of love are not healers, they are simply distractions from the hardness of life.

The pangs inside you are not made of jealousy or envy. They are made of frustration and the inability to grasp just why you cannot at least finish in second place.

They say it’s all a higher power, so why do so many suffer in hunger and sickness? Why this fucking sadness?

Why does she look away when I smile or nudge me away when I offer my arms to comfort?

This fucking depression is fucking depressing. Help me rise, rise above and succeed in turning this world upside down to be upside correct.

I need arms to want to hold me, I need success to once again come to me. I need the light to shine through this windowless room.

It’s time for corrections, guide me…