Fork in the Road

Some years ago, the decision of having to euthanize my ever-present Schnauzer companion confronted me.

It was a decision between keeping her alive but watching her suffer from liver disease or easing her pain but losing a dear friend of 14 years.

I left the decision up to the little dog. She chose the former, staying alive long enough for my husband to reach her before she passed quietly in the hospital.

She wanted everyone dear to her to be around before she left, no matter her pain.

It wasn't an easy one to come to terms with. And it involved an ongoing dialogue in my head. I do mean ongoing.

Of course, that dialogue meant weighing pros and cons.I had to seek advice from the vet, of course. Grappling with internal conflict involved an examination of values and taking small steps to reconcile with it. 

We all hit forks in the road and have internal conversations once in a while. Like this one I had about my furry companion. Both speakers are myself, of course, considering opposites, as I should. 

In a cold, dark room, I sleep, 

Death and life, I ponder, deep. 

Speaker 1: Death 

Is she in trouble, utter pain, 

With all to lose, naught to gain?

Speaker 2: Life

But be to close ones near,

And to me, forever, dear. 

Speaker 1

The medicine will surely cost.

With her old age, all will be lost.

Speaker 2

But she will get a second chance at life

No matter woe, no matter strife. 

Speaker 1

Little one no more endures

Suffering, woe, and great remorse.

Speaker 2

But it is not for you to choose

Death or life, is not for you. 

Conclusion

Then little furry one will have the right

To decide her fate, death or life.