Forest Fires

when i have to put you to pen

it’s over.

i just don't know it yet

but this time,

i see it so clearly:

how my gaze darts to my phone,

hoping, dreading, waiting

how my mind spins through the possibilities —

maybe there was a family emergency?

maybe i missed a natural disaster on your side of town?

maybe your drop-dead gorgeous ex called?

maybe i said something wildly and horrifically off-putting?

maybe maybe maybe maybe

you’re just not that into me.

every ping has my pulse kicking in anticipation

i have to stomach the bitter taste of all likelihood:

hot and cold averages out to lukewarm.

this time, i can see that.

this time, i won't wait until I'm shivering,

warming my hands on the fading embers of your affection.

it will take a forest fire for the seeds of my love to bloom —

you couldn't even light a candle

when i handed you a match