Fool's Gold

I dreamt of you again

Your hair was different,

Ringlets no longer falling like chains of spun gold

My itchy palms ached to wring it in my hands, To let fear and fury and fire work it into the shape it used to take

You were immovable as always, subconscious the most unstoppable force

You were no longer the gilded lily, reeking of the rot beneath the riches (Making the riches that much more enticing)

You were simple and pure and hiding nothing

I wanted to rip you from the roots

(I could not muster the courage)

I did not want what shine remained to be dulled by silt-stained hands, Cheapened

I had to take what little victories I had left,

Squirrel nighttime visitations away like a sordid secret thing Ex marks the spot

Nourishing, punishing, both in equal measure

You and the sun have that in common

Searing glances will not go unnoticed, nor unpunished

A new self was born upon your arrival, another upon your departure

Bloody and raw, I christen myself Ichoras and baptize in Narcissus' pool

Even a fish darts to the first bit of shine that punctures the darkness

I know myself too well now to feign ignorance of the hook

You may have strung the bait,

But I delivered it to you with open palms

And an exposed throat

Like a dog dropping the chain at its master's feet

Silver, and cold.