Flashbacks

Spinning in my head,

I wish I were dead .

Hands shake and I can't take

Any more, I'm crying on the floor .

My stomachs turning and

I'm blurring

Memories and reality .

Can't see what's in front of me.

This Feeling of dread,

keep hiding in my head .

Clawing out of my skin,

I'm screaming within.

Gnawing at my sanity,

or maybe its vanity,

Keeping me from marking my skin.

And I promise I'm trying,

but it feels like I'm dying.

I want to smile but

It might take me awhile.

This feeling inside,

fucking with my mind.

I thought everything was fine,

or maybe I just lied.

See it's a blow to my pride,

Showing you my pain,

But you don't know the shame,

I took all the blame.

It's two in the morning

And I'm in mourning.

Feeling like a ghost.

I tried to overdose

I just want to escape

But memories take shape,

Right in front of me and,

It feels like I'll never be free.

I promise to stay one more night,

I promise to keep up the fight.

But it's spinning in my head,

Making me wish I were dead.

Someone hold me down,

I feel like I might drown,

You see I can't take a breath,

Without wishing for death,

When I'm falling apart and,

I need to be locked in a cage,

So when my demons start

I can stop and battle my rage. 

Can't look at my face,

Feeling like a disgrace

I just wanna feel safe.

And I'm just so tired,

Of needing my brain rewired.

Looking for peace

Will these thoughts ever cease?

Go to sleep and bury my sorrow.

Fuck it. I can start over tomorrow.