Fine

"I'm fine" I reply, "how are you? How's your mum?"

Though I'm already wondering, why did I come?

But I smile, and I laugh, look you straight in the eye,

I even squeeze out a little white lie,

"It looks great, kind of youthful. Stylish yet cool"

But really that colour makes you look like a ghoul.

"I love this song!" you shout, as they crank up the noise,

And I feel a tilt in my well studied poise.

I want you to like me, I want to fit in,

But it's hard to think in the midst of this din,

And I'm worried, I'm fearful, I'll come across boring,

So I hold up my glasses, shout "let's get one more in!"

But now I feel stupid, cause mine is just water,

And I'm wondering if that is my body odour?

Still, I go to the bar and I wait to be served

In the jostle of shoulders and hot breath and germs.

I want to go home, get out of this place,

I'm losing my cool but don't want you to notice,

So I smile and pretend that it's all going well

But inside I'm wondering if maybe I'm ill.

I still want you to like me so I tie the mask tight,

"I'm so glad we did this, what a great night!"

You look at me though, I'm afraid you can see me,

That my mask is slipping, that it's lost it's opacity

And who was it there for, what's my intent?

You'd think that I'd want to attend to my comfort,

But you see I'm not comfortable

If I've made you uncomfortable,

And I like you and want you to be

Comfortable with me.

You're leading the way now,

I feel like I'm drowning

I follow you into the street,

Away from the hubbub and heat

And we just keep on walking,

All the while talking,

Of pets we had, back in our youth,

Now I'm sharing my genuine truth,

That Kip was the best dog and I'll love him forever

Though Rufus was always more speedy and clever,

That collies are great dogs but easily bored,

Spaniels are fun if you're cool to be pawed.

You tell how your cat always hated your mother,

As we walk on in tandem, truly with one another.

At last, I'm home, back to somewhere that's mine,

And you ask "you alright?' and I answer, "I'm fine."