Finding Brown in Rainbows

Brown choose me

before I had a say

in who I wanted to be

defining my destiny.

like rusk dipped in chai

it soaked me in culture

which made me abide

by suffocating norms.

I was ashamed of my melanin

it wasn't beautiful

uncomfortable in my own skin

I struggled.

trying to break free

I sprinted away

trying to be me

I chased the rainbow.

its colors danced

like woodland fairies

on white skin, lightly tanned

by the happiness of the sun.

on mine, the rainbow dulled

taken over by blemished brown

the joyful dance lulled

all the happiness was gone.

why was it so

I wanted to know

when will my skin glow

with the colors of the rainbow?

could it be that being gay

just didn't mix with brown

was I just meant to stay

broken between my two selves?

maybe the separation was made

by my perception of them

for the rainbow brought me pride

but battered brown I shunned.

if only I could learn

to love the skin I am in

I could then burn

the hatred within.

once I can be proud

of all the beautiful brown in me

then the rainbow will be loud

as it radiates off the brown.